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Last Week’s Tools: No tools last week.
Tools from the week prior:
I’m always feel so drawn to talk about everything that happened since the last post . You know—the high and low lights. How we got snowed and that the power went out. But I won’t because it just feels too narcissistic. And boring. Each podcast does start with me writing about all that stuff because I’m really captivated by my own life. And I love myself deeply and abidingly. To myself, I think I’m totally... Wait, I’m getting off track! Where were we? Right! I meant to say, I write it all down so I can see the lesson. And that’s the part I want to share on the podcast. If your curios about the details, you can go ahead and read the blog post. But here, I want to think in terms of, What can I offer you that is of value to you? That supports you in empowering yourself? In the interest of transparency, I have to admit, though, that a part of me does want to go on and on about my life and possibly put it in the most interesting way I can manage to hopefully get you to like me and admire me and need me. That needy and self-centered part of me is who I’m going to hug right now and give love and validation and empathy to. When I’m done, I’ll be back and get to the nuggets I promised. I hope this works as a podcast. We’ll see. My badasserie may desert me. If it does, I will tell you.
Ok I’m back and have this to say: The above paragraph was brought to you by badasserie in action, though I didn’t know it in the moment. Reading back over it, I noticed that I was super uncomfortable with it. Why? Because I was being way more transparent than usual. And that made me scared because it’ll leave me open to judgment and criticism. Ick! So vulnerable!
Are you dreaming of becoming a badass who isn’t vulnerable? I do—till now, unconsciously. Are you striving to become the kind of badass where you’re not touched by haters because of your tough exterior? I am. But I know better and, so, I caution against it. A front is a front is a front and, as such, will eventually crumble and, worse, in the meantime, it won’t actually hold you up when you need holding up because it’s a protective layer, not an exoskeleton. So, being transparent is, as I see it this week, part of being badass: Here are two reasons: Firstly, when you’re transparent, you signal to yourself that you’ve decided to trust that who you are is all right, so all right that you’re willing to show yourself for all the world to see. Secondly, when your transparent, the world has nothing to blackmail you with into acquiescence, silence, cooperation. And that means something very, very special--you are freed to stop compromising so much and, instead, live the life that matters most to you. If that isn’t badass, I don’t know what is!
And here’s an addendum: That heady sense of don’t give a f$^&^ doesn’t last so you’ll have to repeat this process of practicing transparence over and over. It’s like brushing teeth: You gotta remove the plaque every day.
This coming week’s work in bullets:
More often is better. That said, check in with yourself regularly and turn to your Internal Best Friend I talked about in Week 2 in Review ( link). You don’t want to accidentally abuse yourself by revealing what doesn’t feel right to reveal. Keep trusting the feelings that come up in the process of becoming a badass and let them guide you.
Thank you so much for reading. I love you. And as you probably know by now, I see you as whole and wise, and because I am so inclined, as divine, perfect as you are, right now, and as you are not, right now. Bye for now.
Henry India Holden
I write about the divineness of life in its many forms. Writer, artist, spiritual director, life coach, tarotist. Nonbinary.