There used to be three kinds of pronouns in the English language. One for female individuals: "She." One for male individuals: "He." And one for objects: "It." Starting in the 1970's, it, at first very slowly, then more and more rapidly became known that there are people who don't identify as (or feel) female or male, who suffer emotional and often even physical pain if they try to shoehorn themselves into those gender expressions.

​It became known that the sex of a person as indicated by their genitalia and the gender of that person are not always expressed in tandem. For example, a person with male genitalia may not automatically experience themselves as male or masculine, or a person with female genitalia may not automatically experience themselves as female or feminine. This means, that a person's sex, as indicated by their sexual organs, may be female, male, intersex, or another variation, and their experience of their identity may be male, female, neither, or another variation. I mention variations because there are many. Here is an excellent resource of the many genders there are.

​Once the constraints of two genders has been lifted and a person is free to actually get a sense of their gender, they may discover that their gender experience is highly unique. To illustrate, here is an example for another area of life, namely spirituality. As a spiritual person, you may very much identify as a Neo-Pagan, Hindu, Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Buddhist, etc. Or you may be drawing on several religions and  faith traditions. Or your faith may be completely unique and specific to you. Or you may identify as, say, Christian but only connect with certain things about Christianity and not with others. This is to say, that each person's beliefs are, to a larger or lesser extent, unique to them. We would not expect them to fit very exactly into a box that has been very narrowly defined. The same is true for gender and probably for a lot of things.

Considering that each of us has a unique fingerprint, voice, eyes, etc. (even the shape of a heart is a little different from person to person), it makes sense that our genders, beliefs, perceptions, and so on, also are unique to each of us. That's a wondrous thing because it's an example of how each thing that exists is a unique and sacred expression of the divine and the variations never end because the divine is endless. 

How to Use the Pronouns
​They, Them & Their

Pronouns are distinguished as: first, second, and third person. Here is an example of how to use the "they" pronoun:

​First person never changes and is always "you"

Example: You're such a lovely person for coming to this page to learn a little about this pronoun. :)

Second person can be "she," "he," "it" or "they"

Example:  Instead of saying, "He is..." "She is...," or "It is is so chill," you would say, "They are so chill."

Third person can be "her(s)," "his," "its," or "their(s)"

Example:  Instead of saying, "Her curiosity..." "His curiosity...," or "Its curiosity is super cool," you would say, "Their curiosity is super cool in my book."

For "hers" or "theirs," you would say, Instead of "Hers is...," you would say "Theirs is a helpful example."

And I do hope you found these examples helpful :-).

​If this little primer brought up more questions, here is a link to an excellent site: MyPronouns.org
Other great resources for understanding gender and how this understanding is evolving are at
Genderspectrum
​Human Rights Campaign.