Listen to the Podcast
Note: In this week's podcast, I didn't add the tools for next week so you'll have to read them below at the end of the blog post.
I forgot. But I'm still a badass ;-)
Read the blog
Last week's tools:
I hope you had a chance to apply the tools last week. I managed the first one and kept my nerve!
I feel nudged just a tiny bit more towards being badass.
This week, I noticed that, when it comes to badasserie, I’m a cross between my dog Annabelle and my other dog, Kiki.
Annabelle is six-and-a-half-pound white-haired Maltese. She is a tough dog. She’s brawny! We have a dog door. When she wants to go outside, she barrels through it so hard that I can hear the bang of the vinyl flap from the living room.
Kiki, our six-and-a-half-pound white poodle, in contrast, stretches out her paw tentatively to push the vinyl door open, then backs away as if the flap were trying to attacked her with its swinging motion. Eventually, as scary as it is, she has to slip through. It takes multiple tries before she finally makes it. On rare occasions, trying to come back in, it takes her so long to get here courage up, she gets wet from standing in the rain and I have to towel her dry.
This week, I presented two Wise Peer Communication workshops. One for Gender Diversity, designed for parents at Seattle Children’s Hospital, the other designed for staff at Seattle Counseling Service. The days leading up to the events I was like Annabelle, barreling through the cold that had been dogging me for the past two weeks, to hone and practice the PowerPoint presentations
Then came Sunday, the day of the first presentation, and I felt more like Kiki. I worried about whether some of the parents related to the program. In the end, it was well-received and praised. Now, I felt like Annabelle again. Tuesday, the day of my second presentation, I was like Kiki again. I started out speaking too softly—my version of rearing back from the vinyl flap. But soon enough, I found my footing and stepped through to the other side. Again, the workshop was well-received, and I felt robust and confident like Annabelle. Then, going over it all in my head afterwards, I stood in a space of second-guessing like Kiki standing outside, getting wet in the rain.
What made this time different from all the other times I’ve done things that challenge me is that I didn’t give in. I acknowledged that I worry like Kiki. But I also recognized that I have Annabelle’s toughness. I wrote the word “badass” on my hand and barreled through the proverbial door: Every time I wanted to cringe in self-criticism, I looked at that word written on my hand and I realized, oh! this is a matter of deciding who I am! A decision that I’ll be making over and over, just like Kiki has to decide over and over to brave the dog door.
I think we’re all like that—a little bit of Kiki and a little bit of Annabelle. And that’s a winning combination, because, let’s not forget, that, no matter how long it takes, Kiki always makes it through the door. And so will you and I.
This week’s work in bullets
It's the end of the first month, so I recommend taking a review of what you've practiced this the past four weeks. Where did you hit it hard, where could you be exercising your badass muscle more? Don't be the one in the gym who has big thighs and small calves. The reason is that the thigh muscles are bigger and, so, easier to build. The calves need much more attention to keep up. My "calves" are my incessant striving for getting it right instead of just getting it. My "thighs" are acting with bravado. I don't need to practice that.
At the beginning of the 2nd month, stay focused, keep showing up, keep working the program. If you haven't guessed it already, yep, I'm going back to the gym, so you'll hear that in my language. I'll try not to overdo it. Be as tough as feels right, be as sweet as feels right. You have no one to answer to, you badass! :)
This coming week’s work in bullets:
Thank you so much for reading. Have a wonderful beginning of February. I love you. I hold you as whole and wise, and because I'm so inclined, as divine. Perfect as you are, right now, and as you are not, right now.
Henry India Holden
I write about the divineness of life in its many forms. Writer, artist, spiritual director, life coach, tarotist. Nonbinary.