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Badasses are Friends with Their Bodies
Last Week’s Tools:
I’m emotionally raw from being transparent. And I’m so moved by life right now because of it.
Practicing transparence opened the floodgates to anguishing things for which there hadn’t been time or space to work them out for quite a while now. So, yesterday, I found myself pacing around the living room, bawling “I can’t do this anymore! I can’t hold the space for your hopelessness anymore.”
I didn't see this coming. I haven't cried like that in at least a couple of years. My heart pounded. I felt like I was going to have a heart attack. I hadn't known the extent of my anguish. Yet, instead of going down the rabbit hole, I sat down without any forethought and slowed my breathing. Slowly, I found a balance between allowing myself my feelings and taking care of my body that was so alarmed and wanted things to just slow down a little bit. To my surprise, giving my body what it wanted, the sobbing turned to weeping. My heart stopped pounding and, eventually, the weeping subsided on its own. I got up and went to pee. Definitely a mood changer.
I don't want to say more about what this was all about out of respect for other people's privacy. But I can tell you that practicing transparence has not been what I expected. The assumption was that this past week there'd be more openness about internal processes, thoughts and feelings. Instead, it got me in touch with things I didn’t know I was feeling. I’ve learned that being transparent is more powerful than being open because it helps things into the light that you hadn’t been aware of.
Discovering things I didn't know I didn't know made it possible to think about new solutions, not to the problem as it had been previously defined, but to the problem as it was actually experienced. Transparence, I saw this week, closes the gap between rationalization and truth. It replaces “managing the situation” with authentic engagement. And, of course, authenticity is healing in itself. And emotional and psychological healing leads to connection with your inner wisdom which leads to tremendous clarity. And this clarity leads to insight that leads to tailor-made solutions.
This week's solution? It’s time, once again, to let somebody else in, to let somebody else help. It’s time to get some therapy again. Because, really, why lone-wolf it when there are so many people who have spent years studying how best to help you with your problems?
I have a feeling, I’m only scratching the surface so far. Yet, the transformative power of transparence is already palpable in my life. I’m thinking, let’s do this for another week. And this week, let’s add embodiment since that is the overarching theme for the rest of this month and it made such a difference in how I handled my meltdown.
Your consciousness and your body are dance partners.
This coming week’s work in bullets:
The body has its own knowledge that is distinct from the mind’s understanding. This becomes more and more evident as you include the body in your daily life, simply by consulting it as you would a creative partner you work very closely with.
Here is how you can go about doing that
Imagine you’re part of a dance couple who is developing a seriously badass routine. You create and practice the movements together. Over and over. Day after day until you synchronize just so.
Think of your consciousness and your body as dance partners. Set some time aside, a minute or two, several times a day to visualize these two bodies dancing together in harmony.
You can start simply: When you’re hungry, put your hand on your belly and ask kindly, Hey you, what do you want to eat? Listen closely and eat accordingly as much as you can work out. When you get dressed, ask your body, Sweetheart, what do you want to wear? If you feel upset, put your hand where it seems to feel right and trust that your body is guiding you. Ask it, how is this situation for you? What do you want to happen?
Practice being transparent
At least once a day, be transparent. Look for opportunities. When you find one, such as something that brings up a lot of feeling, let your body guide your hand and ask it, what do you want to reveal? What do you want to share?
If you haven't done this before, this process may seem very, very strange to you at first. You may not be able to hear your body clearly right away. But as you go along, you both get better at this. You can listen more closely and your body, encouraged by your listening, can answer more fully.
If this seems like nonsense, there are philosophical and spiritual explanations that might intrigue you. But I think that would be getting off subject. We're here to become badasses who have the courage and personal power to create and live the lives we want. So, I hope it will suffice to say that, for one thing, you can give it a try and see for yourself. And for another, remember that at least half the cells in your body are not you. They are micro-animals like bacteria, viruses, fungi, and other microbes that are life forms completely distinct and separate from you. In other words, if you feel weird about talking to yourself, there’s a lot of other creatures inside of you that you can talk to. It’s truly awesome and awe inspiring. So, go ahead and talk to your body and then listen. Trust me, it works and it's amazing :)
Thank you so much for reading. I love you. And as you probably know by now, I see you as whole and wise, and because I am so inclined, as divine, perfect as you are, right now, and as you are not, right now. Bye for now.
Henry India Holden
I write about the divineness of life in its many forms. Writer, artist, spiritual director, life coach, tarotist. Nonbinary.