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Practice Trusting Yourself
Last Week’s Tools:
When I started to write this week’s entry, one thing seemed immediately clear: the needle hadn’t moved toward badasserie because I’d forgotten to stay in the practice. Except, I was wrong about that.
There's a great little word frequently used in the German language, pedantisch. It describes the stickler: wedded to the details and rules. But for something to take flight requires air under the wings and runway under the wheels, not just the rules of the skies.
I felt lousy and attributed it to not having practiced my badass tools. It’s a logical conclusion but not necessarily the right one. Being a badass doesn’t always mean feeling victorious, sometimes, it feels like hanging on by the skin of your teeth. Nancy Pelosi comes to mind during the State of the Union Address this week. The way she clapped back at the current president—no doubt badass! I bet she doesn’t always feel like she’s killing it. Like, for instance, the entire second term of the Obama administration after the Democrats lost in the midterms in 2010. I bet she was hanging on for dear life! And look where she is now! My own goal was modest, I just wanted to file State taxes in five states without a complete meltdown. And I did! The needle moved, after all!
Truth is, on the journey to being a badass, there will be turbulence. There will be times in which, when faced with what went wrong, you forget what you got right. But part of badass training is to hold on to the control stick. The airplane may drop a thousand feet in an air pocket and that’ll feel horrible. Oxygen masks will dangle from the ceiling. But then the wings will catch the air again.
Never fly like you’re going to crash. Fly like you're going to stick the landing. That’s been my insight this week. A rough ride means nothing, except, “rough ride.”
You may have noticed that there is nothing in this week's blog about your trustworthiness. That's so because, who should be the judge of it? And, when something is made conditional, the bar always rises. And you can never win. I propose you trust yourself as a generative process, which is what a practice is. You don't need to be worthy of it, deserving of it, or justified. Practice trusting yourself for no other reason than that you said so. That's the badass move.
This coming week’s work in bullets:
February’s overarching theme is “Embodiment”—allowing the whole body to participate in the transformative journey.
To that end, you can cultivate and repeat thoughts (adding to your Badass neural network) that express your self-trust, such as, well, “I trust you!” And as you say that--or something else that resonates specifically with you--you can place your hands on your body wherever it guides you. For me, that’s almost always the heart area. If you’re not sure, try various hand positions.
There are as many different reasons for not trusting yourself 100% as there are people. Experiment with different placements and let your body guide you. If something feels good and like you can breathe more freely, you can go with that.
Thank you so much for reading. I love you. I see you as whole and wise, and because I am so inclined, as divine, perfect as you are, right now, and as you are not, right now. By for now.
Henry India Holden
I write about the divineness of life in its many forms. Writer, artist, spiritual director, life coach, tarotist. Nonbinary.