Have you made your New Year’s resolutions? Good for you! If not, may I suggest something new and different?
Those of us who don’t make resolutions are in the majority, but just. Of the 41% of Americans who do, by the end of the year, only 9% feel they are successful in keeping them. That was me, too, until two decades ago when I came up with the idea of using a guiding theme instead of resolutions. It works great because it doesn’t add pressure but helps direct your attention. Let me use myself as an example of how it works. AN ADHD DIAGNOSIS? In December, I zoom with my naturopathic PCP. As always, she starts by asking how things are going, then listens. I tell her that I’m stressing because I feel overwhelmed by my to-do list. It’s my usual refrain. She tilts her head to the side, taps her lip with her ballpoint pen, then points it at me, saying, “You know, this could be an executive function issue. I’m beginning to think that maybe we should look into if you have ADHD. ”I feel doubtful because deep listening is a huge part of my work and I’m good at it. She puts a link to the official ADHD questionnaire into the chat. I get fourteen of eighteen questions “right.” I’m very surprised. A THEME FOR THE YEAR She made several great suggestions that I’ve started to follow but I haven’t seen any results yet. That’s when I decided to create a guiding theme to help me. A theme for the year works like a north star. Every time you go off course, whether it’s with a decision, action, or with your thinking, there is the light, showing you the way back to where you want to be. I chose “being present,” to help me notice when ADHD hijacks my process. I could have used as my theme “being on time” or “finishing projects.” But from experience, I know that it’s better to choose one that works indirectly. WHY AN OBLIQUE GUIDING THEME WORKS BETTER Something that’s too on the nose quickly becomes grating. For example, in my case, I’ve tried setting timers. It didn’t work but it made me want to smash my phone with a hammer. The problems we want to solve with New Year’s resolutions or a Guiding Theme are not simple but complex because they’re woven into our lives. For example, anyone ever trying to lose weight knows it’s not “calories in versus calories burned.” Fitness is affected by, and affects every aspect of our lives. So the Guiding Theme has to be just as far-reaching. In my case, “being present” is that expansive theme. It helps me notice the tell-tale sign of getting panicky which happens when I stay hyper-focused for too long, leading me to neglect other parts of my work, or my sleep, or exercise and food intake. It helps me notice sooner that I’ve been going about the day in a fog. You can’t set an alarm for that. An internet disabling app doesn’t solve that. But my Guiding Theme does ping me. It’s a little mysterious why setting an intention works but a good one just does. Personally, I think it works on the spiritual level. HOW TO CHOOSE A THEME The best way to choose a theme is by grounding yourself with whatever practice you typically use. If you don’t have one, you can use mine Guided Grounding Meditation on my YouTube channel. When you feel well-seated in yourself, ask your inner wisdom questions like, “What will serve me well this year? What will really support me?” Inner wisdom always knows. The trick is to trust it. LET ME HEAR FROM YOU I’d love to hear what theme you picked and how it’s working out. As always, thanks so much for being on my mailing list and allowing me to share with you. It’s a blessing and you are a blessing. I hope that if you decide to choose a Guiding Theme that you’ll be phenomenally successful with it and 2022 exceeds your every hope. Hugs & Blessings, Henryzette
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